Minnesota U.S. Senate Candidates, in Limerick

Limericks for Kurt Bills:

There once was a man named Kurt Bills,
Who was fed up with Washington’s ills;
If elected to congress
He’ll undo their wrongness,
And return us the rights to our tills.

Kurt Bills from the great Minnesota
Won’t let spending grow one more iota;
When he gets to D.C.,
He’ll vote ‘til we’re free,
And won’t dictate the size of your soda!

There once was a candidate named Kurt,
And blue was the collar on his shirt;
He cherishes freedom,
Not government thievedom;
I’d say more but I must keep this curt.

Mr. Bills from Minnesota’s Twin Cities,
Determined to return us our liberties;
He’ll let us choose our course,
Without government force;
The antithesis of Klobuchar’s iniquities.

A dapper school teacher from Rosemount
Fed up with the rocketing debt count,
Kurt entered the race
To inverse the pace,
And prevent people’s dollars from discount.

Limericks against Amy’s bills:

Klobuchar the Democrat Senator,
Votes just like the liberals ahead of her;
Keeps spending our monies,
To bail out her honeys;
So let’s vote for Kurt Bills in November.

Klobuchar of Minnesota’s Twin Cities,
Was bequeathed to her press cov’rage immunities;
No one knew that her votes
Bound Freedom in garrotes,
Nor learned of her socialist proclivities.

There once was a Senator named Amy,
Whose campaign ads tried hard to mislead me,
With consumer protections,
And bailout reflections,
But no cites of her votes that enslaved me.

There once was a white collar woman,
With ties to an infamous Ponzi-man;
She had the letters,
To investigate Petters,
But instead Amy said, “nah, it’s cool, man.”

There once was a Senator named Amy,
Whose probe of Miss Kagan amazed me;
Instead of her record,
Asked “Jacob or Edward?”
Her actions were quite cockamamie!

To learn more about Republican U.S. Senate candidate Kurt Bills, click here.

To learn more about Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar, click here.

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